I’ve been frustrated at the lack of intimacy with God in my life. I’ve been wondering when God is going to move. But the reality is that a spiritual slump is my fault not his. God never ceases to call us. He never truly abandons us, but desires for us to search for him. Sometimes this requires him to retreat, but it is not abandonment, it is an invitation to follow him and to go further up and further in.
I’ve been the one who is responsible for my spiritual dryness. Jesus has been there for me at Mass everyday while I was sleeping in. Jesus has been there for me in the tabernacle while I was a lazy pile watching Battlestar Galactica. He’s been there in the Psalms while the ribbons in my breviary slipped weeks and weeks behind. He’s been patiently waiting for me while I’ve been selfishly waiting on myself hand and foot.
This week, though, I’ve been getting up early to go to Mass. Four days in a row! I’ve been praying the Liturgy. I’ve been spending time praying both in Eucharistic Adoration and in the silence of my apartment. And I’ve felt the gentle love of the divine. And with that comes hope. And joy. And peace.